To move on in life after the demise of our dearest ones is the most difficult thing. Unfortunately, recently I have lost my father, and my world has turned upside down. I used to hear from a lot of people that their parents had died but never knew what it takes to go through such a harsh time. The gloomy days feel like months. Life no longer has remained the same. It seems like life is useless. Enjoyment, carefree nights, laughter parties, etc. begin to appear as the lamest things. Although it is easier said than done, I am trying to cope with this loss to my best. Here are some of the tips that I find useful and maybe they are beneficial for others as well.
Table of Contents
Do not Run from The Memories of Dead Ones
Mostly it happens that you try to hide the things or pictures of your dearest dead ones so that it can get easier to forget them. In my opinion, the more you try to forget someone the more reluctant your brain will become in doing so. It is not easy to forget someone in a few weeks or months with whom you have your lifelong memories. In doing so, the more pressure is added to the brain and you are likely to become stressed. The best way is to keep your loved ones alive in your heart. Cherish all the beautiful memories you had together. Always think that whatever you are doing or wherever you are going, they are with you and watching you. This way the brain is less likely to work extra miles and your body will work in the normal way.
Understand That This Is the Ultimate Reality
Death is the bitter truth of our lives. From whichever religion we belong, scientifically we cannot deny death. No one can escape death. Even though the atheists who believe that there is no god, also face death. If we accept the reality that we also have to leave this temporary world one day, it will be easier for us to overcome the loss and we can prepare ourselves better for the life hereafter.
Move on by interacting with the people
It is a ritual in our culture that whenever someone dies, all the relatives and friends come for condolence with affected family members. I always used to find this concept so weird and tiresome until I lost my father and realized that this is very crucial to help you move on in your life. The day I got a call that my father was admitted to the hospital and was in very critical condition, I felt that my heart stopped beating, and my brain stopped working. I wanted to cry but couldn’t unless I talked with my brother and cried my heart out. I felt the more I cry, the more it gets easier for me to breathe. Anyhow never in my life have I felt this helplessness when my father died. I fainted so many times. I didn’t know what was going to happen to me.To my surprise, I experienced when the people came and cried and consoled me with a hug, my heart began to feel much lighter than before. This is how gradually, things started getting better. I don’t say that it will fully ease the pain. No doubt there is always going to be a space in my heart for my dad. Mingling or interacting with more and more people helps you divert your mind and get back to normal. This is how life works. To remain the sane, we need to dodge our minds.
Get Back to Work As Soon As Possible
Life at this point seems very useless. Going back to work is draining at this time. It feels like nothing is worth our energy and time. The most difficult thing after losing your dear one is to get back to your normal routine and face all the people. When I came back to my home and met my friends after almost one and a half months, it was very difficult for me to see everyone enjoying their lives and having carefree days. Although they did nothing wrong but my heart couldn’t accept it. Nobody is going to feel the pain the way you feel after losing your father, mother, or any other loved one. The quicker you realize this fact, the easier it will be for you to get back to routine tasks and work will help you remain busy. So, again dodging the mind will keep you going. Otherwise, an hour will feel like an eternity.
Only You Can Comfort Yourself
No matter how many close friends or lovers you have, only you can calm or console yourself. Expectations always hurt. At this moment when you are already going through a big loss, don’t let the expectations you have with others pull you down. This is my personal experience. Maybe this is not the case with everyone. When you are going through such overwhelming tough times, you expect others to understand your pain, to be with you through thick and thin. But the truth is nobody wants you to be crying and sad all the time. Everyone wants positive vibes and happy faces. Maybe one day or the other, they will share sympathy for you but after that, you’ll begin to appear boring and irritating. It is better to not look at others for any validation of your feelings. Look into the mirror, cry your heart out and tell yourself that you are not alone. Talking to your inner self is always therapeutic. Tell yourself that you are going to take yourself out of this phase as a warrior. You don’t have to be weak before anyone else.
Do Something for Your Dead Ones
Parents do a lot of favors for us when we are young. Now that they are no longer with us. It is up to us how can we keep their names alive. There are many ways of it. We can do any charity in their names or make any organization that can benefit others in the health and education sector. This way we could feel their presence around us.
Conclusion
In a nutshell, it is not easy to bid farewell forever to the one with whom we have spent our entire lives. Easy said than done, we have to move on after this loss and try our best to stay positive and content in our lives.